CHAPTER ONE: PREDICTABLE

"He had to go and eat the last banana. Fuck," Carissa Beckman muttered to herself as she dipped a spoon into the unappetizing bowl of oatmeal that was meant to be her breakfast.

Ever since she'd agreed to be a bridesmaid in her friend Jackie's upcoming wedding, Carissa had been trying to lose some weight. She knew she wasn't overweight by anyone else's standards - in fact, most people in her life would argue that at 5'1" and 110 pounds, she didn't have anything to lose - but Carissa had always been a perfectionist, and she was disappointed with herself for gaining ten pounds over the last several months of winter. The wedding was three short months away, and Carissa cringed when she thought about how her currently un-toned arms would look in the strapless bridesmaid dress. She wasn't about to start one of those crazy fad diets that many of her female friends swore by. Instead, she was trying to implement and maintain a healthy lifestyle, which meant actually sticking to the recommended daily servings of fruits and vegetables along with dragging her lazy butt to the gym on a regular basis to exercise.

Ever since she made the decision to ride the fitness wave full-force, Carissa's meals became much more structured, especially where breakfast was concerned. In the past, she tended to either stop at Starbucks on her way to work for a grande caramel macchiato and a cinnamon scone, or skip the first meal of the day entirely. When she finally forced herself to go online and check the nutrition facts of her usual Starbucks order, she realized that not only was the habit an expensive one, but it was highly-caloric and lacked basic nutritional value. Now, her breakfast almost always consisted of a bowl of oatmeal topped with a sliced banana and a cup of black coffee. She didn't realize until that morning that her enjoyment of the healthy meal was largely, if not solely due to the banana. But apparently, her roommate had recently eaten the last of the fruit, leaving her with a bowl of bland, chewy oats that were unpleasantly watery and tasteless.

Carissa was still getting used to sharing her living space with her friend and coworker, Zac Hanson. There were certain moments - the current one among them - when she regretted offering him the spare bedroom in her condo on that rainy Friday morning weeks ago when Zac confessed that his brother had kicked him out of his house and left him homeless. But her recent break-up with Cody, the only serious boyfriend she ever had, created a deep, unwanted cavity of emptiness in her life, and she was tired of feeling lonely. At least Zac's presence curbed her depression and forced her to have regular human contact, when she normally would have retreated into herself, wallowed in self-pity, and hid from the world.

She met Zac a little over a year ago when she accepted a full-time job at Precedent Books, a local online bookseller. Carissa worked in the acquisitions department, and Zac was a graphic designer who also served as one of the company's IT staff members. Since technology and Carissa had never gotten along very well, it was a good thing that Zac's desk was in close proximity to her own. Whenever she ran into a technical difficulty during the work day, all she had to was heave a dramatic sigh of frustration and Zac would either send her a message on Skype or swivel his chair over to her desk to fix the issue.

Looking back, Carissa thought that she probably would've been fired early on if it weren't for Zac. The employees at Precedent Books were cliquey and wary of newcomers, and Carissa hadn't made the greatest first impression. New work environments intimidated her; it wasn't in her nature to immediately open up and relax around strangers. While her coworkers, including two of the bosses, ate lunch together in the spacious break room every day, Carissa ate her meal at her desk alone and read her book until thirty minutes passed and it was time to get back to work. By the end of her third full week there, Carissa was accustomed to spending 99% of each day in miserable silence. She felt anti-social and isolated and knew that she had only herself to blame.

But for some reason still unbeknownst to Carissa, Zac reached out to her. He caught her reading The Other Boleyn Girl at her desk one day and said, "Don't waste your time with that one. You should just watch the movie." He then surprised her by pulling up a chair and eating his sandwich alongside her while they fell into comfortable conversation. It was the first time Carissa truly enjoyed her lunch break at her new job.

She soon emerged from her reclusive shell, and her coworkers actually began to acknowledge her presence there. She wasn't dumb enough to believe that she had won them over on her own; she had Zac to thank for that. Everyone at work seemed to adore Zac. He was approaching his three-year mark with Precedent Books and was very well-respected there. Over the years, he'd become friends with one of the bosses and Carissa knew that he'd been to dinner at her house on more than one occasion. Not only did he help her reputation among the higher-ups in the office, he revealed to her many of the company's ins and outs that she wasn't taught during her haphazard, on-the-job training.

Before long, their daily Skype and lunchtime conversations strayed from work-related topics and became more personal. Maybe it was out of boredom, or maybe she realized she needed more friends in her life, but either way, Carissa found herself opening up to Zac in a way that surprised her. Talking to Zac was refreshing; she found she could discuss almost anything with him and feel at ease.

Their friendship grew stronger over the months, and Carissa began to realize just how much she relied on Zac. Her relationship with Cody, her boyfriend of three years, was starting to waver in ways that truly frightened her, a fact that she didn't want to admit to herself or anyone else. She and Cody shared a two-bedroom condo together, but after awhile it seemed that even though they were living in the same house, their paths rarely crossed. At first, Carissa tried to justify their distance by choosing to believe that they were both too wrapped up in their jobs, in their separate professional lives, to focus on each other and that once things slowed down at work, they could work on rekindling their passion. But deep down, she knew the situation was more serious than that. They were growing apart and she wasn't sure how to bridge the gap in their once-seamless relationship. She couldn't recall the last time they'd been intimate.

Carissa didn't like revealing her relationship problems to anyone in her life, and she was especially hesitant to discuss them with Zac. Since Zac and Carissa's friendship had grown to exist outside of the workplace, they often spent time together on evenings and weekends. Zac and Cody became friends quickly and effortlessly, which Carissa was initially thrilled with. She rarely enjoyed herself as much as she did when she was hanging out with both Zac and Cody; they made even the most lazy, low-key evenings fun as they passed the time drinking beer, playing card games, and watching ridiculous reality TV.

She knew that her romantic relationship with Cody was unraveling, but she ignored the telltale warning signs for a long time. She was terrified of losing him, of severing the strong bonds of friendship that existed between her, her boyfriend, and Zac. She also feared that breaking up with Cody would place Zac in the middle; she didn't want him to feel like he had to take sides. The last thing she wanted to do was make her relatively newfound friend uncomfortable by directly involving him in her personal issues.

But Zac caught onto the fact that she was struggling and provided a shoulder to lean on, even though Carissa was trying to act like she wasn't falling apart. When things between her and her boyfriend finally reached the dreaded but inevitable breaking point, Cody decided to move out. He claimed that maybe space and literal room to breathe would be the answer to their problem, would eventually bring them closer again. He said he wanted to still be friends. But Carissa knew that there was little hope in fixing what was broken.

She showed up at work the day after Cody left and tried to ignore the pain, but Zac must have known exactly what she was feeling because he forced her to leave the office early that day. He left with her and drove her to a nearby bar, where he detailed a plan involving drinking themselves into a stupor followed by watching as many bad movies as they could before passing out. But what happened instead shocked Carissa. Before she even finished her first glass of soda mixed with hard liquor, she found herself unloading onto Zac everything she'd been holding onto for the past several months, exposing every fear and awful thought about her relationship that she'd trapped inside her heart.

"All I have to say," Zac said after downing the remainder of his Jack and coke, "is that maybe you should rethink your career and become an actress. You're excellent at pretending - you and Cody both."

"I wish you would've told me, though," he continued. "I can only imagine how weird it must have been for both of you. Acting like everything was fine all those nights when we were hanging out, when it was probably eating you up inside."

"I hid how I was feeling because I didn't want to make things awkward," Carissa admitted. She took a deep breath, then slowly let it out. "And I didn't want us to stop hanging out."

"Us? As in you and me?" Zac raised his eyebrows. "Why would we stop hanging out?"

"It's not fair for you to have to choose between Cody and me," she said. "I know you're friends with both of us. He said he wants to stay in touch, but I'm not an idiot. I know we can't go from being involved in a serious, committed relationship with each other to being just friends - at least not right away. We can't just hang out like we used to and act like nothing has changed."

"Ah, but that's just it. You would never ask me to choose. That's not the type of person you are," Zac said, waving at the bartender to request a refill.

Carissa knew that Zac was right - she wasn't, and had never been drawn to drama. As appropriate as it might have felt at the time to have a dramatic, emotional explosion with Cody when they parted ways, she was glad that they'd remained civil towards each other. She didn't know how to not be kind to Cody, who was so deeply entrenched in her life, who probably knew her better than any other person. She wanted him to be happy, for both of them to be happy. She wished they could've been happy with each other.

She finished the rest of her drink quickly, closing her eyes as the liquid burned her throat. Although they'd only been broken up for less than twenty-four hours, she missed Cody terribly. She felt the familiar ache of sadness creeping into her bones.

"The hardest part is over now," Zac said, reading her thoughts. He shifted his gaze to the bar and held it there for several moments, seemingly lost in serious contemplation, and Carissa waited for him to continue. He snapped his head up suddenly, shooting an intense look her way before drumming his fingers along the bar and singing, "You had my heart, my soul, my attention, but you walked out my life with my CD collection..."

"Only you would sing a trashy song by a fake boy-band at a time like this," Carissa said, shaking her head in shameful recognition of the song Zac had quoted. "Only you."

"Well, clearly I'm not the only one who knows it," Zac said as he continued to hum the ridiculous 2gether tune.

Carissa laughed and was surprised to find that the action wasn't at all forced. She was so thankful for Zac, for his sudden significance in her life, for his ability to make her laugh without trying. She reached across the bar and squeezed his hand; he squeezed back, smiling at her with understanding eyes.

"Reese?" He used the nickname that Carissa claimed to be irritated by but secretly found endearing. "Just so you know, if you had asked me to choose..."

He didn't let go of her hand or her eyes.

"...I would've chosen you."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *


"Morning, sunshine," Carissa said, the sight of Zac walking into the kitchen interrupting her reverie. "Or should I say afternoon."

It was 12:30 p.m. on a Saturday, which most people would consider mid-day, but Carissa knew there was a greater likelihood of pigs flying than Zac waking up anytime before noon on the weekends.

"Hey, Reese," Zac mumbled, resembling the living dead as he wandered aimlessly through the kitchen like a lost soul.

Carissa shook her head as she took in Zac's disheveled hair, the dark creases under his eyes, and his sluggish gait as he poured himself a large cup of coffee. His dark blue t-shirt was inside-out, the back of the shirt tucked sloppily (and most likely accidentally) beneath the band of his gray drawstring pants.

"Rough night?" Carissa asked, although the answer was pretty obvious.

She was curious about where he'd been, though. When she came home from having drinks with Jackie the night before, Zac was nowhere to be found. He must have returned to the condo at some point, but Carissa had fallen into a deep, alcohol-induced slumber that stretched on for almost nine hours, uninterrupted.

Zac answered her by opening the fridge and pulling out a bottle of Cruzan rum. He uncapped it and poured a generous amount into his coffee before joining her at the table.

"Cruz and coffee for breakfast?" Carissa raised her eyebrows, but truthfully wasn't very surprised.

"I'm pretty sure I'm still drunk, so I might as well keep going." Zac gulped the steaming liquid and didn't seem fazed at all by the fact that the coffee was probably burning his throat. "Seth and I hit a few bars downtown, and I met a really hot girl at the last one, and then-"

"I'm eating, in case you didn't notice," Carissa said, gesturing to the bowl in front of her. "So can any details involving the really hot girl wait until after I'm finished?"

Although she'd barely touched her oatmeal, Carissa was well aware of Zac's tendency to reveal too much information about his sexual escapades, and was in no mood to hear them.

Zac rolled his eyes.

"What'd you get into last night, anyway?" he asked. "You must have been dead to the world when I came home."

"Just went out with Jackie for sushi and some drinks. Girls' night," she said simply.

Zac rolled his eyes again.

"Why do you have such an issue with her?" Carissa asked.

Apparently, she'd lucked out by Zac and Cody getting along so well. He clearly wasn't ready to befriend her closest girlfriend and made it a point to vocalize his aversion toward Jackie on a regular basis.

"I don't have an issue with her," Zac said, then continued in a much quieter tone, but one that Carissa was still able to hear, "other than the fact that she's an obnoxious, stuck-up bitch..."

Carissa was the one who rolled her eyes this time. For someone who was so kind to her and had proven to be such a loyal friend, she couldn't figure him out sometimes. He had such strong, stubborn opinions that often didn't seem to be based on anything at all.

"Well, I had fun last night and I'm glad I spent it with a friend, instead of a random one-night stand," Carissa said.

Her words might have stung someone else, but she knew they wouldn't hurt Zac. The mocking, sarcastic undertone was built into the framework of their friendship.

"If you ever had a random one-night stand in the first place, I think I'd die from the shock," Zac laughed.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I know how you are, Reese. You like to play it safe," Zac said. "You don't just hook up with guys on a whim."

"You say that like it's a bad thing," Carissa muttered, shoving a spoonful of her now cold and entirely unappetizing breakfast into her mouth.

A loud buzzing pierced the air and Zac jerked in his seat, nearly spilling his coffee. It took him a few moments to realize that the noise was coming from his cell phone, buried in the deep pockets of his sweatpants. He placed his phone on the table, his eyes squinting to read the message he'd just received.

Frowning, Zac swore under his breath and pushed the phone away, the forceful but childish action causing it to collide sharply with Carissa's hand.

"Hey now," she said as she gently propelled the device back to its rightful owner. "I get that you're mad right now, but you shouldn't take it out on me. Or your iPhone."

"It's my brother's birthday, and my little sister just sent me a text about some gift she wants to buy for him. She asked me to pitch in, but fuck that!" Zac kicked his chair back and stood up, rummaging angrily through the fridge until he appeared with a plate of cold, leftover pizza from the day before.

He returned to the table and forced nearly an entire slice of pizza into his mouth, his eyes on the hardwood surface while he chewed. Carissa seized the opportunity to speak.

"I don't know what happened between you and your brother, but doesn't it exhaust you, holding onto your anger like this?"

Zac swallowed loudly, refusing to meet her eyes.

"Can't you just forgive him?" Carissa prodded. "He's family, Zac."

"Yeah, and he kicked me out of his fucking house. What kind of family does that?"

He finally lifted his gaze to meet her own. His tired eyes looked hollow, but there was a depth to them that suggested that there was more he wanted to say. But he didn't speak another word, and a heavy silence grew between them as he sipped his rum-laced coffee.

Carissa shook her head, having no sibling rivalry experience of her own to justify any sort of response. But although she didn't have any brothers or sisters, she had difficulty believing that whatever had transpired between Zac and his brother was worthy of causing a permanent rift in their relationship.

But then again, she really didn't know what to think. Zac, while open and extroverted about nearly everything else in his life, was incredibly private when it came to his family. She knew he was part of a large family, but throughout the course of their friendship she'd never met his parents or any of his siblings. She didn't know much about them at all - not even their names. She'd tried to pry details from him on various occasions, but he always put a wall up or changed the subject.

Sometimes it bothered her to think that she lived with someone who was so guarded about such significant pieces of who he was. She didn't know him, and would maybe never get to know him so completely, the way that good friends were supposed to.

"What's on your agenda for today?" Zac asked as he lifted another slice of cold pizza to his lips. Carissa sighed inwardly; he'd shifted the topic from his family troubles, just as she knew he would.

"Grocery shopping, maybe some cleaning...and I plan on going to the gym at some point," she said.

"Wow, aren't we living on the edge," Zac muttered, his sarcasm evident even through mouthfuls of pizza.

"I can't believe you have the nerve to call me boring," Carissa said. "At least I manage to get up at a normal hour and not waste the entire day in bed. Plus, I doubt you've even noticed, but this apartment needs a thorough cleaning and somebody's got to do it."

"I didn't call you boring," Zac said, breezing past her last comment. "You're just predictable, that's all."

Carissa frowned. She didn't like predictable. Predictable sounded so dull and unappealing. Maybe that was why Cody had eventually decided to leave her. Maybe that was why the spark of their relationship had died. A heaviness settled into her heart at the thoughts Zac's words had uncovered. Straightening up in her chair, she caught Zac's gaze and downed the rest of her coffee before speaking.

"You know what? I want to make a deal with you," she said.

Zac raised his eyebrows. "What sort of deal?"

"You don't think I have what it takes to have a one-night stand, but I think you're wrong."

"That's your opinion. That's not a deal," Zac pointed out.

Carissa shot him a warning look, causing his smirk to dissolve as he closed his mouth.

"I bet that I'll have a one-night stand by the end of next week," she said. "If I do, then I win, and you have to clean the apartment for the rest of the month."

"And what if I win?" Zac asked.

"Then I'll do your laundry for the next two months," she said.

Zac appeared to contemplate her words, but judging from the look on his face, he'd already made his decision. She knew that laundry was Zac's most dreaded task and that he'd go to any length to avoid doing it.

"Okay," he said, his brown eyes sparkling with the idea of a challenge. In fact, he suddenly looked more awake than he had all day. "It's on."


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